A Father’s love, joy and sorrow

Naomi Cannon BeachThe doctor said my life will most likely
End in months not years,
Unless of course I get run over by a bus tomorrow.

The cancer invades my body,
Spreading as it pleases,
I take chemo twice daily to slow it’s progress.

Watching my daughter graduate from college,
Walking her down the aisle,
Teaching my grandchildren how to fish,
All seem to be an impossibility,

My daughter is so precious,
Sparkling like Sirius in the heavens.
I could not be more pleased
With how she has applied,
The passion and talent that burns within her,
In twenty years I have witnessed her amazing trajectory,

I have told her that I will always love her,
But not nearly as much as I do now.
I am as proud as any Dad can be.
Yet I struggle with finding more to say.

I am not a hugger.
But hugs feel especially good right now.
And all the love from my family and friends,
I drink up like a camel.

There is nothing left on my bucket list,
Except to live each day to the fullest,
Until I hope to have the strength,
To greet Death,
With grace and dignity.

© 2013 M. Tsai

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25 thoughts on “A Father’s love, joy and sorrow

  1. This is so heartfelt, honest, and heartbreaking to read. I can’t imagine the emotions you felt while writing it….while feeling it. It can’t compare and I know words can not convey emotions like this. We have seen but a snippet of the hurt you feel, and that is enough to feel overwhelmed by this piece. Thank you so much for sharing this.
    Thank you for sharing you.

  2. Thanks for sharing with us. As one of your many childhood friends, my thoughts and love are with you and your family. You are an amazing person, Michael.

  3. I am so sorry you are facing this but you are not alone! We are all here with you! Maybe if you would accept a suggestion that is too bold but meant with love…you should start video taping yourself and thoughts about certain events in the future?

  4. Grace sent me this link. Beautifully written and full of courage. We are sending positive thoughts to all of you from our holiday in Japan. Naomi is not only a beautiful, capable and brilliant girl–she’s a lucky one to have you as her Dad. Thank you, Michael!

    With Love,
    Julie, Jay, Sam and Anna

  5. Having the love of your family and friends is a mark of a successful life.
    You have this and we can all hope to match your example.

  6. Michael,

    I stumbled onto this post and —

    As a father of three adult children – two daughters and a son – I share your pain. I find myself walking away from road rage and other triggers to anger – swallowing my pride, as I want to be around for as long as I can, for my children.

    But this post is not about me, but you.

    I’m sorry to tick “Like” but you know what I mean. Some believe and I believe everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, this might seem unfair —

    Words can do no justice Michael and neither can they comfort. I will never understand (and hope never to be in your position) the pain and anxiety felt by you and your loved ones. But know that though we got to know each other only for a few days over the internet – you have my prayers.

    Peace Brother,
    Eric

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